Romantic gestures are for life – not just for Valentine’s Day! Research has revealed that unassuming, everyday interactions – like bringing your loved one a cuppa in bed – can sustain relationships far better than lavish, once-a-year blowouts.
Whilst you might not want to return to the grand romantic gestures of your youth – before the kids arrived or there were bills to pay – there are plenty of simple yet thoughtful ways to make your partner feel cherished and understood this year.
How to rekindle the romantic spark in your relationship
Reintroducing romance into your relationship doesn’t have to start with finger-pointing and giving your partner the third degree about why they aren’t more romantic. Your other half isn’t a mind reader – and they shouldn’t just know what you would like. You have to take time to tell them.
Sit down together, and each make a note of 3-5 things that make you feel appreciated and heard. What feels romantic to you? What does your partner say or do that makes you feel loved? Read your lists to one another without interruption and explore how you could make more romance a reality.
As a seasoned relationship therapist who has helped countless couples deepen their connection, here are some romantic gestures you shouldn’t just save for Valentine’s Day…
Show an interest in their interests
You don’t have to share passions with your partner to be compatible. As psychologist John Gottman says, ‘The important thing is not what you do together, it’s how you interact while doing it.’
It’s less about finding a hobby you can enjoy as a couple and more about taking the time to understand what lights one another up individually. Whilst it might not scream romance, having your interests acknowledged and encouraged by the people you love the most feels good.
Ask questions, check in with what they’re up to, and get to know one another on a deeper level.
Be vocal with your love
Contrary to what the retail industry and social media would have us believe, romance isn’t an annual box of heart-shaped chocolates or an all-expenses paid trip to some far-flung city.
When was the last time you told your partner you loved them or that you appreciated something they’d done? Being romantic can be as simple as sharing a sweet sentiment without expectation. We can be quick to vocalise when we’re feeling irritated, so why not vocalise when we’re feeling attracted too?
Thank yous, surprise compliments, and emotional expressions of appreciation can make all the difference – and they don’t cost a penny!
Lighten the load
Daily household tasks can be done with neutrality, sure, but we can soon build resentment if we feel our contributions are taken for granted. How are you making your partner feel day-to-day?
Flashy presents might seem like a romantic idea, but sometimes there’s no better gift than lightening the load and taking care of tasks without being asked. Make dinner more often, do the jobs they like the least, and take on your fair share of household admin.
It might not seem like the sexiest way to show appreciation for all they do, but that thoughtfulness may have way more of a positive impact than a pair of earrings or a designer cologne ever could!
Related – 10 Ways to Resolve Conflict in Your Relationship
Ask about their day
Be sure to check in and give one another space to share and process the day free from solutions or twenty questions. It sounds simple, right?! That’s because it is!
This daily download allows you to both feel seen and heard, so neither of you goes to sleep feeling as if your emotions and experiences have been overlooked.
Turn this into a daily ritual by sharing things you got up to or were especially grateful for at the end of each day. It’ll soon become second nature, and you’ll feel all the more connected because of it.
Pick up little treats just because
There’s sometimes nothing more romantic than your partner presenting you with your favourite chocolate bar that they bought whilst getting petrol on their way home.
Forget wistful love letters and being whisked off to Paris for a whistlestop tour of the city – pick up little treats just because, and you could be reaping the rewards for days, weeks, and months to come!
Although, I’m sure your partner wouldn’t turn down a handwritten note or a night away every now and then too…
Plan thoughtful dates
Elevate the everyday by organising thoughtful, distraction-free dates across the year that bring the both of you together without too much planning.
Head out on a golden hour dog walk somewhere scenic, or do a spot of garden stargazing complete with flasks of hot chocolate. Enjoy bakery-fresh pastries and good coffee in bed, or set up an at-home spa evening at the end of a hectic week. The choice is yours!
Make the most of what’s around you, and cosy dates become much easier to execute. Pop them in your diary at the start of the month, and you’ll always find the time.
Related – Finding Time for Your Relationship: 8 Creative Date Ideas for Busy Couples
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Reintroduce romance into your relationship, and you’ll dispel any residual tension, begin to communicate more effectively, and welcome all kinds of intimacy back into your day-to-day.
And remember – romantic gestures don’t have to be especially elaborate or expensive to have the desired effect. Keep it simple, have fun, and see where they take you. Enjoy!
Bookmark my blog, or follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram or X, for even more ways to reset your relationship in 2024.
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I’m Carla Devereux, an experienced relationship psychotherapist helping couples and individuals explore challenging emotions, behaviours and deep-rooted issues with an integrated therapeutic approach.
Book your therapy session by emailing carla@carladevereux.com or calling 0121 745 9044.
